Interpersonal Connections

Connections Take Energy

I often find myself thinking about the importance of connections in both my personal and professional life. Whether it's networking with others in my professional life or building relationships with new and existing friends, all connections take energy. It’s a significant investment of energy over the long term to make a meaningful return. When done right and in a healthy way these connections can enhance your life in imaginable ways.

Building connections can be difficult, especially in a world that's so heavily focused on digital communication. While social media can be a helpful tool for networking, it can also be draining. Constantly checking notifications and responding to messages can take a lot of energy, and at the end of the day it’s time you’ll never get back. Ask yourself this, what am I missing? Are you missing the latest notification in an attempt to take your attention away from the real world? Or have you just potentially missed a milestone in the real world that will never happen again? What is more important, your child’s call for attention or the little red dot? Both are craving your attention and only one will actually make a difference in your world. Only one will be there for the long term if you invest the time and energy early.

In my experience, the most meaningful connections have come from in-person interactions. When we’re not seeking them in a desperate way by plastering selfies all over Facebook, constantly checking dating apps, or arguing with internet strangers on a group, then great things will happen. When we spend large amounts of energy seeking connections, we end up showing the world a sort of desperation that will repel the sort of person you’re seeking. When we spend time bettering ourselves, healing our trauma then we become appealing in an organic way to the types of connections we seek. If the end game is secure attachment, then this is unlikely to be found scrolling to the bottom of a social media feed or a dating app.

Of course, building connections isn't just about attending events and interacting with others. It also involves investing time and effort into cultivating relationships over the long term. This means staying in touch with colleagues and friends, offering support and encouragement, and being willing to collaborate and share ideas. Don’t underestimate the relationship building that can come with healthy respectful debate. Being challenged on our existing conceptions and ideas is how we grow. The battle of ideas is how we, as a human race, got to where we are now.

Ultimately, connections take energy because they require us to be present, engaged, and willing to put ourselves out there. But as we know, the rewards of these connections can be immeasurable. Whether it's simply feeling less isolated, discovering a healthy intimate relationship, building connections can help us in countless ways. So let's continue to invest our time and energy into building relationships that matter in the real world and leave the digital world to the equivalent of a “sometimes food”.